Me in my hood and other regalia.
My dad, me, and my mom.
My friend Manasseh and I.
My step-dad, me, and my mom.
My mom and I.

In around an hour, I take my last test at Idaho State University. It is my final in Management Communication. I didn't take the class because it fulfilled a particular requirement. Basically, I needed an extra 3 credits/1 class and I wanted to take something that would benefit me in a career. This class, while geared towards the private sector, did benefit me and I learned a great deal.

Yesterday I went and picked up my tassel (peacock color), cap, gown, and hood. My cap is WAY too small. I will look like a fool if I can't get a bigger size or if cutting the back (which will look stupid but less stupid than wearing it as is) won't help make it fit better. When I go to the graduation practice today, I am hoping they have an extra cap that will fit my large head. Cross your fingers!

My parents all get into town tomorrow. They could've been here today but every room in every hotel/motel in Pocatello is booked and has been booked for the last few weeks. There is a baseball tournament and nothing was available. So, my mom and step-dad are flying into Salt Lake City in a few hours and will stay in Ogden tonight then head up here tomorrow morning.
My dad and grandma are driving from Auburn, Washington (suburb of Seattle) and will stay in Boise tonight and head up here tomorrow morning.

My dad, who is one of those parents who loves the college bookstores, is so excited to take me to ISU's tomorrow morning. When I received my Bachelor's degree, he purchased a frame at the bookstore that is especially made for ISU. So, tomorrow he is letting me pick out one for my Master's.

Well, I suppose I should get back to studying and to the two msn messenger conversations I have going.

In three days I will graduate!!! I still have a ton of school stuff to do as well as some internship hours to complete, but I know I will get everything done. My computer/laptop has a corrupted hard drive, of this I am almost 100% positive. The AC adapter is also not working to my liking and even though it is plugged it, you have to fidget with it to get it to work. I am told this is a common problem with Fujitsu's.

So when my mom and step-dad leave to fly back to Seattle on sunday, I will be sending my beloved laptop with them. I purchased the laptop at Fry's in Renton, Washington, and in order to use the extended warranty, I need to bring the laptop back to a Fry's. Not surprisingly, there isn't a Fry's anywhere near Pocatello. I have restored the laptop 4 times and am pretty sure it needs work beyond my capabilities. So, here's hoping the warranty covers any work needing to be done (the warranty does not cover the battery-LAME!).

This has all led me to deeply consider getting a Mac when I get a new laptop, not that I expect that to happen anytime too soon, but I have grown so annoyed with Windows, and the only PC's I like are Sony's and Fujitsu's. Sony's are overpriced, and I am pissed I paid $1500 for this laptop only to have the battery act lame, the AC adapter poop out, and the hard drive crash, less than 2 years after I purchased the laptop.

I have turned in two out of my five papers due and one of them was about the book, Fiasco, which everyone should read! I have some interesting things to blog about and when I have time, expect daily posts again. I promise it will all be worth the wait. For now, I have laundry to do and papers to write.

In 6 days, I will have graduated and will have my Master's degree in Public Administration. It's strange to think about and pretty difficult to comprehend. The 5 papers and two semester long journals I need to complete make it hard to see past the next few days!

My blogging has been light because I have been trying to get some of these papers done and my computer has required not two, but THREE system restores since thursday night. The last restore, which was completed friday night, necessitated the complete C: drive erase (285 minutes is how long it took). I believe the C: drive erase is what those who store child porn on their computer do right before they think they will be caught! Never in my life did I think I would do something that could be compared to a child porn possessor.

Which reminds me of what Tara at The Political Game has been tracking. She has been following the new building of Bright Tomorrows-an organization that helps child abuse victims. They are getting a new building here in town and the community has come together to assist and to ensure the quick completion of the new building. Check out The Political Game and look through some of the posts and watch for future posts on the progress!

Well, I am enjoying a conversation with my friend right now on MSN Messenger, so I will end for now.

Two weeks from today, I won't be in school anymore. I graduate May 12th and while I am excited to have another degree, another accomplishment, and some freedom to be able to sit at home and watch some movies without feeling guilty about the fact that I should be reading or writing, I will miss school. If school were free, I would go for the rest of my life. But it isn't and I can't.

Last year, about this time, when I was elected as Vice-President of the ISU College Democrats, I was excited to work with a Presidency I thought would take the club in a different and better direction. My excitement all went to hell when, in September, the President resigned and according to our club constitution, I was the new President. I felt inadequate and overwhelmed and I was sad to lose the President who I know would've done a fantastic job. So, reluctantly, I took the reigns. I think I did a good job-I know we got at least 3 votes from student Senators as "Club of the Year"-two of which are Republicans!

We brought the Democratic candidate for Governor to campus, Jerry Brady, and had over 100 people attend. It was perhaps our greatest event as a club (greatest event that was sponsored by our club only and not the county party and us) and I am still proud of that event (especially since I did 98% of the work). We brought Jana Jones, the Democratic candidate for Idaho public schools. We had a few events on campus featuring local Democratic legislators and Democratic legislators from all over the state. We also got the nicest looking shirts we have ever had. See the logo on the right? That was designed with my help and now the club has an actual logo.

I am disappointed that we didn't get a new banner to hang in the Canoe Room on campus-our current one isn't cool, doesn't have our new logo, and is way too small. I am sad we couldn't recruit more members (though we got a handful of new ones, which is a big accomplishment). I am wishing I didn't think of the idea of having a "Democrat of the Year" event until it was too late to do anything this year. But I am happy with how things went overall.

What are my plans on May 13th and beyond? I don't quite know. I will probably stick around for another year or so and just keep looking for a job in the Boise and Salt Lake City areas. So for now, I must find a job that can pay the bills for the summer and beyond. I would like to stick around because there is no sense in moving until I find a job to move for. Also, I have a plan, along with some friends, to do something on campus the next coming school year that will kick ass. I don't want to state publicly, because I want some people to be surprised, but it involves the creation of a club that will become one of the greatest clubs on campus. I also want to stay somewhat involved with the College Democrats. And let's face it, I have made some incredible friendships that keep me motivated in sticking around a little bit longer.

All good things must come to an end, but my time in Pocatello isn't, at least not yet.

Well, this morning I successfully presented and defended my case study. HOORAY! Looks like everything is all set up for me to graduate next month!

As you all know, I passed my master's comps and received a case I have been working on for the last 2 weeks. This morning I turned it in. On monday morning, at 9am, I will present my case to my graduate committee and defend my decisions. Wish me luck!

This weekend I will be putting the finishing touches on a paper that I have been working on all semester in my policy class. The paper started out investigating the relationship between public opinion of the Iraq War and media coverage, but I decided to change the direction of the paper based on an assignment in the class. We started out writing a paper and then turn in this paper, expanded, three separate times this semester. Each time, adding a new area, one of the new areas I needed to add made me realize I needed to change the paper. So, now I am looking at 9/11 and the possibility that it provided a "focusing event" that was used by the Bush Administration to invade and occupy Iraq. Okay, seriously, is there any doubt that 9/11 was used to justify the invasion? Here is an excerpt from my paper:

"Without the attacks on September 11, 2001, would public support have been high enough for the Bush Administration to push the war? The attacks brought the issue of terrorism to the forefront of American minds. Many Americans believed Iraq was connected to 9/11 and terrorism in general. Because of this, Americans were more willing to support the War in Iraq as an extension of the war on terror. An act of terrorism on American soil, a rare event indeed, was a dramatic news event, one that Lawrence and Birkland would include as something that would drive an issue to the top of the governmental and media agendas. Aside from driving an issue to the top of the governmental and media agendas, did the 9/11 attacks and War in Iraq become another example of Kingdon’s three streams theory?"

or does it? I am reading Deborah Stone's, Policy Paradox-The Art of Political Decision Making, and her chapter on facts has really resonated with me. In this chapter, Stone critiques Charles Lindblom who believes that government indoctrination cannot occur unless the government is a totalitarian one. Stone argues that indoctrination can occur if the information being given is intentionally manipulative and robs people of their capacity to think independently. Lest you think I will argue that Idahoans don't have the ability to think independently, let me finish.

Stone states that we are strongly influenced by peers, co-workers, family, and other groups of which we are part. She states that the "drive to conformity is as strong as the drive to select the best means to an end." I am not stating that Idahoans are stupid, and can't think for themselves, I am simply stating that they/we are human. Stone goes on to say that "in our various social and political roles, we act largely according to prior attitudes and beliefs rather than new information."

Indoctrination, Stone argues, can occur outside the framework of a centralized and/or unilateral government. She states that this occurs in our schools which teach students about
"obedience to authority, about social stratification according to ascriptive ability characteristics, and about discipline, orderliness, and the subordination of self to central schedules." WOW! Stone then states that indoctrination can also occur through ordinary government-citizen contact. That 'street-level bureaucrats' "give out moral and political lessons, along with rewards and punishments." Stay with me here...

Stone states that "government social service organizations have some very potent weapons with which to prod client behavior in the right directions." This includes the power to reduce welfare payments/benefits, removing children from families, or placing children back into families, the power to institutionalize and release, judges have the power to jail, etc...
She then cites the example of a Texas judge that "berated a bilingual Hispanic mother for speaking only Spanish so her daughter would become bilingual: 'You're abusing that child and you're relegating her to the position of housemaid. Now get this straight. You start speaking English to this child because if she doesn't do good in school, then I can remove her because it's not in her best interest to be ignorant.'"

With this in mind, Stone states that when this type of intimidation is carried out by a "government official in a state with a large Mexican and Mexican-American population
and a law making English the only official language, it surely belongs near the indoctrination end..."

With no similar statements from an Idaho judge (that I know of), and a smaller population of Mexicans and Mexican-Americans in this state, could it still be argued that Idaho, having recently passed a law to make English the official language of state business, practices indoctrination?

I took my comprehensive exams today. I feel pretty good about how I did. I didn't think I would remember so much and felt most of my answers were comprehensive enough to answer the question but not to the point where I am just blabbering. I tested on 5 out of my 6 core classes. I answer one question per class and had 6 hours to complete the exams. In case you are wondering what these 5 classes are, they are; Research Methods, The Administrative Process, Public Policy Analysis, Public Personnel Administration, and Organizational Theory and Bureaucratic Structure. I skipped the Grantwriting question which just requires writing a grant.

So, when I turned in my five large blue books, I was given a case, and I have two weeks to do a case study and then I turn it into my graduate committee who read it and then I orally defend my case study to them.

Oh yes, I don't know how I did on my exams until they are graded, and I don't expect that to happen immediately. You aren't given a letter grade, just a "Superior", "Satisfactory", or "Unsatisfactory."

I shall keep you updated. Thank you all for your support, your prayers, and your best wishes. Now if I could only find a job post graduation...

It has been a year and a half since I last spoke at a press conference, so I was a little bit nervous for this one. There were at least 4 camera's there recording footage to possibly show on the news, someone from the Idaho State Journal was there, but I am not sure if someone from the Idaho Statesman was there. There was also a gentleman from a radio station. Pretty good turnout.

After the press conference, where I spoke and a lady from SNAP spoke, Mary Grant, I was asked by channel 6 and another channel, to give an interview, which I did, of course. It's always nerve wracking giving interviews because they edit most of what you say and can edit you in such a way as to make you look bad, like an idiot, or who knows what else! Many of the questions were profound and issues I hadn't really formulated responses to. What I said on camera in those interviews was as raw as you can get. There were questions that forced me to reflect back on a period of my life that seems like eons ago. It's painful and troubling to bring yourself back to a place, a hell in every sense of the word, but it is, and was, necessary.

I have a responsibility to speak out. Not just for myself and my sister, for friends and family, but for the untold number of victims who not only suffered in silence, but now try to heal in silence-still handicapped by feelings of shame, embarrassment, fear, etc...

Getting to a place where you are comfortable talking about your own personal hell is not easy and it takes you on an emotional rollercoaster, but the main reason I am able to do it is because I MUST do it. I stated recently that one day I will have children and they will go to church and I don't ever want to look back at this period in my life and know, or think, I didn't do enough.

I've been debating with myself on whether or not I want to post what I said at the press conference. I haven't made up my mind yet. Though shared publicly with many cameras, microphones, legislators, and other audience members, somehow it still feels intensely personal and something I have only shared with those I love deeply. But maybe the words themselves isn't what is so personal, maybe it is the emotions I felt and feel...

With that said, I must attend to my studying as tomorrow morning I take my comprehensive exams. When you read this and if it is before 5pm on friday (though I hope to be done before 5), please say a prayer for me. I've been carrying the world on my shoulders and I am feeling a bit weak and terribly weary.

So today I need to turn in a research project I was given for my internship. So I've been working on that this weekend, and I'm not quite sure I should divulge what I've been researching...but it's been interesting...

I've also been finishing up my presentation I am set to give in around 10 hours on the prison industry. I need to remember that it is a Communication Management class and not a Political Science class nor is it a Sociology class, so I should keep my political and sociological opinions to myself!

I've also been working on this paper that will be peer reviewed this afternoon in my policy class. I started out looking at the role the media has played in the public opinion of the Iraq War. However, I have changed it to look at the relationship, or lack thereof, between 9/11 and the Iraq War. Without introducing you to several policy/public administration terms, this is going to be an academic paper and not something I'm pulling from my arse!

I also have a resume and cover letter due in the class where I will be giving my presentation.

AND, I've been trying to study for my comprehensive exams that take place this friday.

For those who may have an interest in my relationship with the Mormon Church; I did attend sacrament meeting today. I have a relatively new friend who offered to go with me to my ward's sacrament meeting. I'm still pretty shocked she offered to go. I don't think her kindness knows any limits. I texted her to tell her that I owe her "big time" and she invited me over for dinner. Thanks, Liz.

I am a huge fan of C.S. Lewis's quote that says to a Christian, there is no accident/coincidence in people meeting and becoming friends. I truly believe that and I am grateful for the friends I have and the roles they play in my life.

I also want to blog about the Mormon Church finding my sister and I when we left no paper trail for them. They found my sister today and me a few months ago. How? I do not know. I think it might remain a mystery for a very long time.

I have been pretty busy with studying for my comprehensive exams that I take this next friday, finishing up a presentation I must give on Monday (on the prison industry) and paper that I need to have reviewed by my peers on monday (my paper I have mentioned before about the Iraq War and the role the media has played-though I have decided to go in a different direction), as well as a research project that is part of my internship and that I need to have have complete by monday. So, I think that adequately explains my lack of political commentary or commentary period. Wish me luck on my comps and keep praying for me!

I am the newest intern for Idaho State University. I went about this the most non-traditional and dumbass way, and somehow, I got myself a prestigious paid internship.

I started classes on Monday. I am pretty stoked about my schedule. This might end up as one of my most favorite semesters because I am taking some awesome classes from some kick ass professors.

I am taking Speech 554: Management Communication
Political Science 613: Seminar: American Political Behavior
And then I am doing an Independent Study with a professor who is teaching the Spirit of the 60's class and since I consider myself a "neo hippy", I thought it would be fitting to take this class. So I will take the class and the professor will design the requirements for me since it is only offered as an undergraduate level course and I need graduate level credits...make sense?

College Dems will meet tomorrow to begin our semester and I anticipate some exciting things happening. At our end of the semester pizza party we decided to spend each month focused on a population we would like to give service to. For instance, we came up with low-income/poor, elderly, animals, veterans, etc...
We will also be discussing t-shirts/sweatshirts, and the Frank Church Banquet that is coming up quickly! Last semester I spoke with the editor at The Bengal and we agreed to debate the College Republicans through weekly articles in the paper. Last I heard, the College Republicans hadn't agreed to debate us, but we hope they do so students can learn more about each party.

I will definately blog some more as there are many exciting things happening in these first 100 hours!

I apologize for not blogging, though I haven't really shared this blog with very many people. I have been busy with work and flew to Seattle this morning/afternoon.

On my vacation in Seattle, I will be writing two papers. One on presidential scandals and another paper will be about the book, Fiasco, by Thomas E. Ricks. I highly recommend that people read Fiasco. It's not light reading, by any means, but it gives some very in-depth information about the build-up to the war in Iraq and the actual war in Iraq. Basically I am going to be analyzing the decision making process involved and analyze the book using some public administration principles. I plan on sharing some of both of my papers when I complete them!

For fear of revealing far too much personal information, I just want to say that something that happened today made my entire year, and I will end there!