I'm hoping to go back to school this Fall. If I don't get in, I will be devastated.

I went to Missouri/Kansas for 5 days and LOVED it.

I think I'm returning to the Mormon Church and the thought scares me for two reasons.
1. I'm an enigma and there aren't many Mormons like me. I feel lonely and out of place when I go to Church.
2. Because of the aforementioned and other issues, by returning to the Mormon Church, I will significantly reduce my chances of doing the traditional thing; getting married and having kids.

I am really tired of politics.

I live in one of the whiniest condo buildings in Seattle. Not a week goes by without some note whining about not recycling properly, or complaints of noise, footsteps, parking, etc.

I like Twitter, a lot, and I "tweet" occasionally, but I prefer Twitter as a means of getting breaking news and keeping up with friends, associates, etc.

I am bored to tears and would love to find a part-time job that I enjoyed.

Having been born on Tax Day, is it safe to assume that I was born to be a Democrat? It only took about 21 years, but the best Democrats are reformed Republicans!

I have been posting much more regularly on my diet blog. I'm tired, I have headaches and I just feel like crap, which means I don't feel like posting here. Here's hoping my withdrawals from caffeine and sugar end in the next day or two.

If you look above this post, you will notice a rectangular box with links to my other blogs. Technically, I blog on 6 blogs, but 2 of those blogs, I rarely blog on. The other 4 blogs are ones I will try to keep current.

I have an open invitation to anyone who wants to blog with me on any of my blogs. If you want to remain anonymous, it's still really easy to blog or comment. You can create a faux blogger.com account and comment and blog under that.

I am not inclined to open totally anonymous commenting (that doesn't require registration) because there are people who abuse that privilege (I know who they are, see, my blog traces your IP address so I know what city you live in, what operating system you use, who your internet provider is, what pages you looked at, how long you looked at my blog, how you got here, etc). I just don't understand why people who don't like me read my blog, don't you have better things to do?

So I have not been doing well with following a diet and exercising. I blame unemployment and just my lack of motivation. However, that is changing. So, on Monday, I am starting a low-carb diet. Yes, Atkins. Spare me the lectures about it, please.

With this diet, I am thinking of starting another blog to track my progress and some other reasons.

My question to my dear readers is if there are any others who want to diet with me? You don't have to necessarily do Atkins, or a low-carb, but I think if we could get a few people on this other blog to blog about our experiences, what we're eating, and offer each other support and encouragement, it would be really great. If you want to lose 5 pounds, join me, if you need to lose 100, 20, 50, 200, whatever, join me. Doesn't matter where you live, the internet can bring us all together.

So, let me know, either in the comments, Facebook, Myspace, or email, if you want to join me and/or if you want to be a blog contributor on this other blog I will create. You can be anonymous, or not.

I gave birth to a 7 pound 11 ounce baby girl. Happy Birthday, Katie. See you in 9 years, hopefully.

As I get older and older, I realize more and more the importance of mending fences and moving on. I wish I could perfect this and that it was easy, but it isn't. I guess part of human nature is holding a grudge, wanting revenge, wanting vindication in the worst way, even when this desire for vindication hurts you and you alone. It's a poison you make but can't serve someone else, it is only served to yourself.

A few days ago I sent an email to a former supervisor I had who, I felt, treated me unfairly. I respected this person a great deal and being angry at her had consumed so much of me. I cannot say how good it feels to have one less person to be pissed off at.

I think what triggered this was watching tv and someone saying that it is recommended that when you need to say something to someone, you should write them a letter and even if you never intend on sending it, even if you think they will never read it, you should still get those feelings out.

One of the reasons I have supported certain politicians, or have been able to forgive certain people is because I believe in redemption. I am trying to learn that someone's mistakes or shortcomings don't define who they are or erase the good in them, just as I hope they understand that about me. For me this is especially difficult because I do something called "splitting," which I've written about before. Basically, I lack the ability to see the good and bad in people, I either see them as good or bad, not a mixture. So being able to see people for who they are, the good and the bad, the perfect and imperfect, takes an incredible amount of work for me.

So I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back for mending one fence. Only a couple more left???

There are times in life when your reality is something you can't comprehend. Right now is that time for me. My lawsuit with the Mormon Church is over and we are victorious. Our victory is a victory for all victims who have been wronged, ignored, and silenced into shame.

By now, you may have heard about the John Edwards affair allegations that include a child he allegedly fathered. sigh. I have many thoughts. First of all, nothing has been proven. Second of all, I hope to God it isn't true. But, if the affair and/or child story is true, it is a very sad story.

It basically underscores a problem many politicians face, adultery. Hell, it's a problem many people face. Frankly I'm not too terribly surprised when there are allegations of this sort of thing and when the allegations are proven, it's just another public face who did what we have come to expect. Truly sad that we have become numb to something as tragic and wrong as adultery.

I think the reason adultery bothers me so much is because I believe that trust is sacred and adultery can ruin or at least damage the trust that has been sacredly placed with another. Also, adultery doesn't just affect a married couple, but the children, extended family, even the person(s) who is sleeping with the married person.

This situation with John Edwards is really providing me with a test. I have a problem with splitting. As you all know, I love and adore John Edwards. Not just the politician, but the person. I think he geniunely has a good heart. Yeah, he's filthy rich and lives in a big mansion and is a millionaire, but I know he cares about poverty. I know he was geniune in what he wanted to fight for as President. I still believe in his message and I will never regret voting for him in the NEW HAMPSHIRE Primary.

So my splitting problem is something I try to work on. Believe me, it's a daily battle. The John Edwards allegations are providing me with the perfect test. It makes me angry that he might've done this to his wife, kids, and supporters. It will damage his reputation and hurt him if he continues working on issues he cares about. We may never know the effects.

This is all so unfortunate because it shouldn't discount the work he has done; the kids he has helped put through college with his own money, the people he helped who are poor, the millions he inspired with his message. I think if we knew of every politician who had an affair, we'd be shocked. If we withdrew our support based on the fact that a politician did have an affair, we'd be hardpressed to find many to support.

A politician who doesn't cheat shouldn't be given a pat on the back, but one that does have an affair shouldn't get a free pass. We want better and we should demand better. (FYI: John McCain cheated on his first wife with a much younger woman, his current wife, Cindy McCain. His first wife was a model but was in a car accident and gained weight and lost height and didn't have those same model looks.)

I hate that politics has come to this. We expect adultery, corruption, cronyism, special favors, and special interests placed over majority interests. So, either we can keep expecting this, or we can do something about it. What will you do?

Editor's note: This post was written over a week ago. I didn't post it until today because I am lazy.

Tonight I met with some of my former co-workers at Recessions, a bar a block away from the infamous K-street (I worked on K street, ironically enough!). It was a time to celebrate and a time to say goodbye. Words can't adequately describe the emotions I experienced tonight. Some of the strong emotions are related to individuals I am leaving behind. Some, the life I am leaving behind.

The journey I've embarked on over the last year has been remarkable in many ways. I have traveled this wonderful country we live in. I have lived in Vegas, New Hampshire, and now Maryland. I have fallen in love with New England and I think about NEW HAMPSHIRE almost daily.

I have grown up in a lot of ways, matured in just as many, and I have fallen short and recognized that it is a daily struggle to improve upon ourselves, and sometimes we lose the struggle.

So, here are some pictures as I reflect on the last year and the journey I began July 1st, 2007 and the journey that ends this August.

One of my first days in Vegas (July, 2007), I met my hero, John Edwards. Words cannot describe how excited I was to meet him. When he walked into the room, he saw my shirt, shook my hand and grabbed my shoulder with his other arm and said, "I like your shirt." I was speechless, but I managed to say, "I like it too." A friend captured this on video but I never got her to send me the footage. Ah well.

This was my office in Vegas! Sign signs everywhere. This was in August of 2007.

Tim Russert and on the NH Primary Day (January 2008)! He was so kind! RIP.

Me at Daytona Beach in Florida (February 2008). Probably the prettiest beach I saw on my travels. Miami beach was pretty too. Daytona Beach was better. More peaceful and better sand.

Me with two of my former co-workers at Recessions (July 2008). Notice my new hair color?

Wordle is a website I discovered through Rosie O'Donnell's website. Go there and have some fun! Here is what I created using some of my favorite quotes!

On June 30th, my health insurance coverage will end, unless I elect to use COBRA and spend 25% of my unemployment $$$ on the coverage. So, I wanted to go see my doctor one last time. I was assuming she'd give me some muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories because I'm still having pain from my car accident that happened a few months ago when I was rear-ended on I-5.

Well, I was wrong. She ordered bloodwork to see if I have any vitamin deficiencies (I bet I do), then wanted a urine sample, then ordered an MRI, and said I need more physical therapy, and last but not least, referred me to a Neurologist. I'm thinking my doctor didn't quite get that I won't have insurance to cover all of the aforementioned after Monday, and there is no way I can squeeze all of that in by Monday, unless I use my COBRA to continue my coverage, which I kinda feel I need to now. Did I mention how I despise needles?

The last time I had blood drawn, I nearly passed out. It wasn't just because they took 9 vials, it was just the fact that I am scared to death of those damn needles and if you've seen my arms, you know getting a vein can be quite the challenge. And they use the baby needles, so it takes forever.

So I was somewhat relieved when the Phlebotomist acted pretty confident in her ability to get a vein. Yet, she picked the right arm. RED FLAG #1. Red Flag #2, #3, and #4 were the successive attempts in that arm she tried to get a vein. Finally, finally, she moved to the other arm, the arm that has been used for iv sites and bloodwork the last several times, all successfully. Yet, it took her a few more tries to finally get a vein. She then asked, "does your blood move slowly?" I don't freaking know, but clearly it does since it's taking 2 hours to get 4 vials. The vein she got finally gave out and she couldn't even fill the last vial. Thankfully the torture was over and I thought that a day that was supposed to be hopeful has turned out pretty freaking shitty until I checked my Facebook and saw I had a message.

To be continued...

And getting lots of puppy love. Enjoy.

So I've seen 40 out of the 50 states and by tomorrow night, I will be up to 42 states! I'm flying into Mississippi tomorrow and then driving over to Alabama! There is a small chance I will make it to Louisiana this week and if so, I'll be up to 43 states! I still have Alaska, Wisconsin, the Dakota's, West Virginia (I only live like less than 2 hours from there so I know I'll make it there sometime), and some other southern states.

I feel very lucky that I've been able to see so much of the United States and I wish everyone had the opportunities that I have had.

On my birthday!!! And we are posing with a "trash person."

27 years old. :)

So today is April 13th and that means that in two days, I will be 27 years old. 27 feels so much older than 26 does. Can't explain it. My birthday will be pretty decent. I'll have to work the morning shift, which requires waking up at 4am and catching the 5am subway to D.C. I will have my physical therapy appointment after work and then I am meeting my friend, Paula, from NEW HAMPSHIRE, in D.C.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited to see her. Paula has become a dear friend and I look up to her so much. I love my coworkers and they have all become friends, but it will truly be nice to spend some of my birthday with a non work related friend.

So, I think I've shared my favorite Rilke quote before, but I find it very fitting as I sit on the edge of a birthday and faced with many questions about my future:

"I beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Do not search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." Rilke

So I am safely back in D.C. and my life is slowly returning to normal. I couldn't get a Maryland drivers license since I don't have sufficient proof of residency, but I have a solution that will hopefully give me a license by the middle of next week so I can go on my work trip to Arizona.

I would like to dedicate a whole blog post to the ridiculousness of government bureaucracy, but I think we all realize how lame places like the DMV are. Ugh.

I have a two day weekend! I haven't had so much time off in a while and it's been nice to be out here and actually get time off.

Still in pain. Last night it felt like my back and neck were on fire, today I just feel tight all over. I am using ice and heat and taking my pills, but I will need to find a Dr. out here soon to see what to do next. This won't resolve itself and I'm wondering if a MRI is needed to see if there is any damage. Any thoughts on icyhot? The heat and ice both feel good (I alternate the two) and in different ways.

That's it for now except to say I am so annoyed with both Barack and Hillary. Where's JRE???

Houston to be exact. Tomorrow I will fly into Dallas and spend a few hours there before driving a few hours to another destination, but I will return to Dallas until, most likely, next Wednesday! This trip was only supposed to be 2-3 days, but has turned into an 8 day adventure, and misadventure, which shall be another blog post. Let's just say that US Airways is LAME!

So, I am pretty excited about Dallas because for the first time in 6 months, 6 MONTHS, I will see a familiar face! I mean, I've seen a few work people, but those are people I just met in July/August and while I love them, it just isn't the same as a family member or close friend. But tomorrow, I will see my friend, one of my best friends actually, Toni. We lived next door to eachother in Rexburg and have been friends ever since. So that means we met in 2002, I think. I will actually be staying with her for a few days and I cannot wait! We always have so much fun and she loves play hostess. She is a great cook too so I am maybe hoping for a home cooked meal. It's been several months in that regard as well.

I am very blessed because I have a few good friends spread out throughout this country and many who I remain in close contact with and even if I can't see them, they are only a quick text away.

My blog, as I just described to a friend of mine, has been a big pile of lame lately and for that I apologize. I've been traveling since yesterday morning at 3am and have been in 5 states. With my work schedule and spending 2 hours a day going to/from work, I just don't have the energy to blog much. There is so much I want to say, but a lot of it involves my work and I cannot blog about that.

I'll work harder on blogging more, I promise this time.