Lots of new season premieres! I am watching United States of Tara, a new show on Showtime and I really like it. It's about a mom who has Schizophrenia (multiple personalities). Entertaining!

So my mom and step-dad bought me the complete series of The West Wing for Christmas and I have been watching it off and on since then and find myself in the 7th season as of today (started disc 43 of 45 tonight). I've been pretty amused by some of the plot lines as they are eerily similar to what we are experiencing now.

Republicans nominate a moderate Republican on the show, and this year they nominated a moderate Republican in real life, though McCain becomes more and more Conservative each day (ick!). Democrats have a brokered convention on the show; we could very well have a brokered convention in real life. Republican nominee battles with choosing a conservative VP on the show, John McCain is being pressured to pick a conservative VP in real life. Democratic nominee on the show is a Latino, the Democratic nominee will either be an African-American or a woman in real life!

So, I've basically fallen in love with The West Wing since I started watching it during the Christmas season, but it's really made me wish that President Bartlett were our President and Matt Santos could be our next President!

It seems like only yesterday that JRE was still in the race and we had a candidate who I could totally support. Now, I don't care much about who our nominee is, I just want a nominee. I have reservations about both and it is a daily struggle figuring out who I like more. I really feel like we let a golden opportunity pass us by by not showing more support for JRE. The most progressive and most electable and he doesn't stand a chance after only a few states. Everyone loves him, whereas I find a lot of mixed support for HRC and Obama (anecdotal, mind you). I know a lot of middle-aged moderate Democrats, and hardcore Democrats who have serious reservations about Obama and I could see them going with McCain if McCain can maintain his maverick status. I'm not quite sure I am comfortable labeling that as lingering deep racism or what, but we will have a big problem in our party stopping some Democrats from peeling off for McCain, especially if he chooses a moderate VP, such as Gov. Charlie Crist of Florida, who is immensely popular or even Gov. Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota, who isn't as popular, but a good speaker and pretty charismatic, and YOUNG (pretty cute too).

So those are my latest thoughts on the 2008 race; McCain worries me, Obama and HRC don't excite me as much as JRE (no surprise there), and McCain's VP choice is hugely important, HUGELY important.

I am a big fan of Rosie O'Donnell. Always have been and always will be. I recorded The View everyday while she was on. I think she is one of the most remarkable human beings out there.

I watched the E! True Hollywood story of her and got choked up when it was revealed that Rosie barely missed the Forbes 100 richest celebrities list a few years ago (2001?) because she had given over $50 million dollars to charity. Had she kept more of her money, she would've made the list. Another fan of hers saw this and wrote to her on her blog (she has a blog and a section where you can ask questions ). This person wrote that she had seen how Rosie didn't make the list. Rosie responded with something similar to this. " I told my people that if I ever make such a list, they are fired. Give it away."

Anyways, so I am a frequent visitor to Rosie's website. I have asked her questions many a time without a response-she gets thousands of questions a day. Today, I was elated to see that my "question" was the first one posted with a response:

ask ro

A friend of mine invited me to spend time with her and her family for the Easter holiday weekend. So, I am headed back up to Rexburg today (saturday). This time, I will spend more than an hour and a half there! With that said, expect no post today or tomorrow unless I decide to test blogging from my cell phone or I get back early enough sunday to write something. Happy Easter!

I leave this quote for you all to ponder while I am away:

"I guess when your heart gets broken you sort of start to see cracks in everything. I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us and our mission is never to let it." Felicity television show

"You're not even grateful, are ya?" Nathaniel

"Grateful? For the worst freaking experience of my life." David

"You hang onto your pain like it means something, like it's worth something. Well let me tell you...Let it go. Infinate possibilities and all he can do is whine..." Nathaniel

"Well what am I supposed to do?" David

"What do you think? You can do anything you lucky bastard, you're alive! What's a little pain compared to that?" Nathaniel

"It can't be so simple." David

"What if it is?" Nathaniel

I only slept about 4 hours last night, if that. I had a lot on my mind and one of my ways with coping with anxiety is to watch Six Feet Under (SFU), a truly beautiful tv show. SFU is just a beautiful show for so many reasons. Wonderful storylines, perfect actors, and so many lessons to learn from the show.

Today, I didn't get home until 10:45pm. It was a long day but it made me realize a few things. I realize that I have many people in my life who are significant helps to me and don't even realize it. Whether it is taking my mind off of my current stresses by making me laugh or engaging me in some conversation that challenges the way I view the world (topics of the day were globalization and Borderline Personality Disorder), I have many people in my life, some of them just regular friends, but all of them people I will cherish when my time in Pocatello comes to an end.

I've been struggling with some recent decisions I have made recently and sent an email of apology earlier today. While I am fully convinced my apology wasn't not only NOT accepted but this person hates my guts, I had a good friend remind me that I should "never doubt the power of sincerity."

One of my mantra's and something I obviously stole is "everything happens for a reason." For most of my life I have uttered that to myself to help myself cope. I also use it to remind myself to search out the lessons I need to learn when I am dealing with something difficult.

Lately, I have been wondering if that is my mantra because I HAVE to believe it to make some sense out of all the horrors I have experienced. I began questioning one of the only things that has helped me deal with so much bad. I am not upset that I am grappling with this, I believe grappling is one of the greatest things a person can do. However, I am upset that something that is really a foundation for my healing is now something that may not be true.

Yet, though I have grappled with this more in the last week than I have every other time in my life combined, I find myself saying, "everything happens for a reason" more often now than ever before.

I wasn't going to blog tonight. I have an important meeting coming up and have tried to devote my time tonight to preparation. However, I am watching Jimmy Kimmel Live and Donald Trump is on and continued his childish assault on one of my favorite people, Rosie O'Donnell. It's one thing to say you disagree with a person's opinion, it is quite another to call this person, "disgusting," "fat slob," "a failure," need I go on?

I have liked Donald Trump since the first season of his now failing show (failing, in my opinion), The Apprentice." I liked him even more when he was interviewed on Imus In the Morning and said he didn't agree with the war in Iraq. However, I don't like Donald anymore.

I don't like people, especially powerful men, who verbally assault women who have done so much philanthropy, women who have devoted their lives to their family, and proved this by turning down a $50 million dollar contract, women who are kind and help millions of people. I like Rosie. I don't just like her because she is freaking hilarious. I like her because she is a good person. I like her because she is a living example of what human beings should strive for. This woman has done much for humanity through her example and money.

She suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression and she is on an anti-depressant. I mention this because that is information she has shared and because she was brave enough and strong enough to share it and because of this, many women and men have gained strength to start a medication, to seek help, to admit it is okay to have depression and PTSD, to know that even though you have a diagnosis or diagnoses, you can survive and you are okay.

I believe Donald's assault has revealed his true character and I believe it reveals he has significant issues, perhaps issues with strong and independent women, perhaps issues with men and women, I don't quite know, but I believe he needs help and I hope he gets it.