The N Word  

Posted by Jessica in ,

I heard two people use the n word tonight. It wasn't used towards someone or a group of people, it was used in one instance to refer to a scene in a movie in which the word was used and it was read by someone quoting from Malcolm X (I don't believe either of these two people are racist). The first time I heard it, I couldn't believe my ears. I immediately texted my mom, my best friend Morgan and another friend. I wanted to see if my anger was just me being overly sensitive or if I had a legitimate reason to be angry.

First of all, though I am white, I have a daughter who is half-black. I come from an area that has a wealth of diversity (Seattle), and I am just extra sensitive to issues of race and racism. When I got home, I called my mom, who said the use of that word is not appropriate. I talked to my other two friends who agreed with my mom. Then I thought I would call my good friend who isn't from Idaho, who is very open-minded and fair. I told her the story and she tried to play devil's advocate. I was fine until I started crying on the phone. I was partly embarassed for crying on the phone about a word, but partly still so upset because this is a word I despise and one my daughter will encounter so many times in her life, it makes me incredibly sad.

And while I called my friend only to ask a question, she talked to me for an hour and a half. I think she knew tonight was a tough night (and I didn't even tell her what else happened that made me sad). Thank goodness for my mom, for my friends, for my two best friends, and for those who always support me, even if it only means talking to me on the phone and trying to make me feel better.

So is my anger justified?


Post a Comment