Today Was A Bad Day...  

One of my best friends is moving away and tonight I said goodbye to her. I have known her since January of 2002. It was nice to see her but sad to see her go. Guess I better plan a trip to Dallas to visit her...I haven't been to Dallas since July of 2002 when I lived there for 2 weeks to train for Southwest Airlines. I also need to plan a trip to Missouri to visit my two best friends there...yeah, I probably overuse the "best friends" title, but in my head there is a hierarchy of best friends and each of them are my best friend in different ways.

I got into a huge fight last night with one of my best friends. The fight continued today where harsh words were exchanged. Tonight as I was at the store, I started beating myself up for how I am sometimes such an idiot and so narrow minded. I, all too often, view myself as the victim and often times fail to recognize that my actions, in fact, are victimizing someone else. I absolutely hate when people hurt my friends yet my own actions can be very hurtful. My friends are such an integral part of my life and I need them in my life, all of them, and there are a few of them I couldn't live without.

However, after I beat myself up for a bit, I realized that while it is important to always improve yourself and strive to be a better person, I think I deserve some credit for who I am as a person. As a dear friend pointed out to me, I surivived "the impossible." I have my quirks, I have my imperfections, but I am alive and I am, for the most part, a good person. I know it is difficult to be friends with me, but I can only hope any benefits my friends get from being my friend will outweigh the negatives and all the crap I throw at them...

So, my friend who is upset with me tonight, I love you and I need you in my life. Your friendship means more to me than almost everything else in my life. I am not perfect and there will be times when I will hurt you, but I promise I will try to be a better friend and let you be who you are and accept you for who you are.

I will end with one of my favorite quotes:

Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.

Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again.
It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive.

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is
accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.

~Marvin J. Ashton