I only slept about 4 hours last night, if that. I had a lot on my mind and one of my ways with coping with anxiety is to watch Six Feet Under (SFU), a truly beautiful tv show. SFU is just a beautiful show for so many reasons. Wonderful storylines, perfect actors, and so many lessons to learn from the show.

Today, I didn't get home until 10:45pm. It was a long day but it made me realize a few things. I realize that I have many people in my life who are significant helps to me and don't even realize it. Whether it is taking my mind off of my current stresses by making me laugh or engaging me in some conversation that challenges the way I view the world (topics of the day were globalization and Borderline Personality Disorder), I have many people in my life, some of them just regular friends, but all of them people I will cherish when my time in Pocatello comes to an end.

I've been struggling with some recent decisions I have made recently and sent an email of apology earlier today. While I am fully convinced my apology wasn't not only NOT accepted but this person hates my guts, I had a good friend remind me that I should "never doubt the power of sincerity."

One of my mantra's and something I obviously stole is "everything happens for a reason." For most of my life I have uttered that to myself to help myself cope. I also use it to remind myself to search out the lessons I need to learn when I am dealing with something difficult.

Lately, I have been wondering if that is my mantra because I HAVE to believe it to make some sense out of all the horrors I have experienced. I began questioning one of the only things that has helped me deal with so much bad. I am not upset that I am grappling with this, I believe grappling is one of the greatest things a person can do. However, I am upset that something that is really a foundation for my healing is now something that may not be true.

Yet, though I have grappled with this more in the last week than I have every other time in my life combined, I find myself saying, "everything happens for a reason" more often now than ever before.

See this article. What a sad day for the world. I truly admired her and enjoyed her books and opinion pieces. When I talk to people and they want to know a good book to read, I point them to Bushwhacked. While very depressing, the book incorporates a lot of humor and I felt so much more knowledgeable about GWB and his time spent as Governor of Texas.

Molly Ivins was truly a modern day Paul Revere. She tried to warn the world about the consequences of electing GWB, and though the world listened, we still got stuck with, what many say, is the worst president this country has ever seen.

Molly Ivins, you are my hero and a national treasure. Rest in peace.

“I think we all wish we could erase some dark times in our lives. But all of life's experiences, bad and good, make you who you are.
Erasing any of life's experiences would be a great mistake."
Luis Miguel

"Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave."
Mary Tyler Moore

“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go."
Richard Bach

Common Dreams. "Breaking news and views for the progressive community."

Lost Cause. It's on repeat for me.

beck - lost cause

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I'm loyal. Loyal to a fault. And I am not a quitter. This combination is both a blessing and a curse. I don't know when to quit and this has placed me in some bad situations. I am also loyal even when I am deeply hurting myself. Recently I had to quit something. It was tremendously difficult for me and I don't know what the future holds, but I do know I had to quit in order to keep my sanity. My quitting didn't mean I didn't love what I quit or won't continue to love what I quit, it meant I loved myself enough to walk away for as long as necessary. It was done in a dramatic fashion. I am so very impulsive and so very melodramatic, I had to quit that way. I guess I am torn. I feel I made the right decision but like I said, I am not a quitter. And while I feel I was pushed into quitting, I still feel bad about it.

Many of you know that Molly Ivins has cancer. Apparently it's "back with a vengeance."

"Raise hell," she urged readers. "Think of something ridiculous to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. ... We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, 'Stop it, now!'"

Splitting: A mental mechanism in which the self or others are reviewed as all good or all bad, with failure to integrate the positive and negative qualities of self and others into cohesive images. Often the person alternately idealizes and devalues the same person. From a psychoanalytic point of view, splitting is fundamental to borderline personality disorder, and underlies the dramatic shifts in the person's experience of self and others and their difficulty in finding a stable adaptation to life.

I just attended a peace rally here in Pocatello. While we did have 100 people there, I was disappointed I didn't see more people that I know are opposed to this war.

I have met a lot of people who talk a good talk, but they can't walk a good walk. If you are opposed to this war, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

I was asked to speak since I am the President of the College Democrats at ISU. I read something someone wanted me to read but I ended by saying that if we don't speak up, we won't get out of Iraq. We must end this war.

What have you done to end this war?

Thank goodness for friends who love me, even when I am stupid, immature, and completely insensitive. Thank goodness for the new friends I have met last semester and this semester.

Thank goodness for my mom who reminded me that true friends are those who know the worst things about you but love you still. And even still, who experience the worst things about you, but still remain in your life.

You're A People's History of the United States!

by Howard Zinn

After years of listening to other peoples' lies, you decided you've had enough. Now you're out to tell it like it is, with all the gory details and nothing
left out. Instead of respecting leaders, you want to know what the common people have to offer. But this revolution still has a long way to go, and you're not against making a little profit while you wait. Honesty is your best policy.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I heard two people use the n word tonight. It wasn't used towards someone or a group of people, it was used in one instance to refer to a scene in a movie in which the word was used and it was read by someone quoting from Malcolm X (I don't believe either of these two people are racist). The first time I heard it, I couldn't believe my ears. I immediately texted my mom, my best friend Morgan and another friend. I wanted to see if my anger was just me being overly sensitive or if I had a legitimate reason to be angry.

First of all, though I am white, I have a daughter who is half-black. I come from an area that has a wealth of diversity (Seattle), and I am just extra sensitive to issues of race and racism. When I got home, I called my mom, who said the use of that word is not appropriate. I talked to my other two friends who agreed with my mom. Then I thought I would call my good friend who isn't from Idaho, who is very open-minded and fair. I told her the story and she tried to play devil's advocate. I was fine until I started crying on the phone. I was partly embarassed for crying on the phone about a word, but partly still so upset because this is a word I despise and one my daughter will encounter so many times in her life, it makes me incredibly sad.

And while I called my friend only to ask a question, she talked to me for an hour and a half. I think she knew tonight was a tough night (and I didn't even tell her what else happened that made me sad). Thank goodness for my mom, for my friends, for my two best friends, and for those who always support me, even if it only means talking to me on the phone and trying to make me feel better.

So is my anger justified?

Yesterday, John Kerry announced that he won't be running for President. I had mixed feelings. Personally, I love John Kerry. I voted for him in the primaries and I fully supported his candidacy.

John Kerry wasn't going to win the nomination and it would have been a waste of time, energy, and money for him to run. I noticed that a lot of people expressed gratitude that he wasn't going to run. At first, I just brushed it off, but this morning I was thinking about it and got really angry. John Kerry wants the War in Iraq to end. He isn't just saying this, I truly believe he wants it to end and will do whatever he needs to bring it to an end. I believe he will bring a level of intensity to the table that very few candidates can and will bring. John Kerry provides no danger of winning the nomination, Hillary Clinton does. Those who want a Democrat to win in 2008 should reserve their gratitude and excitement for when Hillary Clinton loses the nomination. Or should a miracle occur and she decides NOT to run.

Essentially, I want John Kerry to run because I like what he will bring to the table and I think he will bring something that could be missing since he isn't running. I also want him to run because I don't think he will win the nomination. I would much rather have John Kerry run than Hillary Clinton. Make sense?

I am proud and excited to announce that the ISU College Democrats, of which I am President, will host this year's Pizza and Politics which will feature Democratic legislators from across the state. The Bannock County Democrats do their own pizza event with local legislators, but this one is different as legislators from other parts of the state will visit. It will be held on campus and will feature 6-8 (maybe more) legislators! February 9th at 7pm in the Canoe Room. I think it is so neat that the Democrats in Idaho travel around the state to visit with citizens.

I apologize for my lack of words lately. If you're expecting a post about Bush's SOTU speech, don't hold your breath. I didn't watch it and I didn't watch the Democratic response. Tonight was a horrible horrible night as my health problems continue to mount and overwhelm me. I have a friend who hates my guts right now and possibly forever, and I am not sure if I will make it through the semester in one piece. I have stretched myself unbelieveably thin and any words of advice or words of encouragement are welcome and much appreciated.

I don't even know if I can type what I witnessed tonight. It was sickening and had one senator, who I now love, remark that the Senate was acting tyrannical. One senator said they should vote yes because they haven't really done much and they needed to do something. As if doing something stupid redeems them from not really doing much at all. I would much rather have a do-nothing senate than a senate who makes asinine decisions.

I wasn't so disappointed that they want to raise tuition to pay for a nice Reed Gym, I was disappointed that the Senate sees no problem with voting this way and not letting the student body vote on it. In fact, several Senators specifically stated they didn't want the students to vote on it. One Senator basically said she didn't trust the students to sift through the misinformation out there about the issue and the student body couldn't be relied on to make an intelligent vote (not in those words, exactly). Another senator said they (the Senate) should be the only ones to vote on it because they were the most informed. At first, I was semi okay with that statement, then, when I started thinking about it, it sounded really elitist.

Well, hopefully this makes sense. I'll post a link to The Bengal article when it comes out regarding the meeting tonight.

I went to Africa Night on the ISU campus last night. It was fantastic! I am pretty picky when it comes to food, but I thought I should at least try everything (except the cabbage dish!) and I was pleasantly surprised with the food I was served. I didn't care for the peanut butter soup, but the chicken dish, rice dishes, and beans were awesome, and the fruit salad was superb. The entertainment was also awesome, especially the band that performed.

I was sad to see that Hillary Clinton plans to run, but I wasn't too surprised. My problem with her running isn't how I view her personally (I like her) but if she presents the best chances to win if she wins the nomination. She is very polarizing. The polls I've seen show that men hate her and women love her. Again, not surprised.

This saturday, people in Pocatello will show solidarity with those protesting in Washington D.C., by having a peace vigil at Caldwell Park at 5pm. I'm pretty excited about this. I do wish more than anything that I could be in Washington D.C., but I will return there soon enough.

There is a lot of drama going on over at ISU. The student senate is voting on an important issue tomorrrow and I've been told by a few people I should go to the meeting. The honeymoon period between Vailas and the faculty has come to an end. The very popular Dean Kijinski of the College of Arts and Sciences resigned and that has the entire college in a panic mode. Should be an interesting semester.

There was a new development today and I hired a lawyer. I can't really post about this until everything is resolved but I just want to say thank you for lawyers and thank you to my mom who is helping me pay for this lawyer. I have had really good experiences with lawyers and I've worked with a lot of them. I know that there are bad lawyers, crooked lawyers, and the lawyers who give them all a bad name, much like there are bad cops, crooked cops, and the cops who give them all a bad name, but thank God there are good cops and good lawyers. I am also left wondering if all my experiences with lawyers is a sign I should go to law school...My parents would faint if they knew I was entertaining the idea, but I can't help but wonder...

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

I am the newest intern for Idaho State University. I went about this the most non-traditional and dumbass way, and somehow, I got myself a prestigious paid internship.

My heart is racing and my mind won't stop thinking. I have a very important meeting at 10:30am and am trying to prepare. While searching through my things I came across some letters and emails and my English project dated March 20, 1996 about Animal Farm. I had to laugh because my my my, hasn't technology come a long way? While reading some of these letters and emails, I started thinking about my life now.

Had someone told me before the summer of 2002, that I would move to Pocatello and spend the next 5 years in Pocatello (with the exception of 11 months spent in Idaho Falls), I would have laughed. Had someone told me when I graduated from ISU in May of 2003, that I would still be in Pocatello in 2007, I would have laughed and perhaps shed a few tears! I could never forsee, as I ventured out to Idaho in July of 1999, that I would spend so many years here. I could have never known that some of the greatest people in my life, I would meet in Rexburg, Idaho Falls, and Pocatello.

My two best friends I met here; one in Rexburg, the other in Pocatello. One was my roommate (I, of course didn't meet her before we ended up being roommates through fate) the other was in my Statistics class. My other friends, the closest friends I have, I met in Idaho. And though I have had best friends who have come and gone, some abruptly, some slowly, I know that many of the close friends I have now will always be in my life.

After reading those letters and emails, most of which came from friends who are long gone, I came to the conclusion that in my life, it is my friends and family who are my foundation.

The revolving door for friends continues to move, but the foundation that has been built through friendships which sustain me and give meaning to my existence, is the most important thing in my life.

I guess I just wanted to blog about this because you don't know me unless you know how important my friends are. They have helped shape who I am and I wouldn't be anywhere if it weren't for the people who put up with me, help(ed) me, and have/had confidence in me.

Thank you, my friends (late at night, I get overly cheesy and affectionate, forgive me).

I wasn't going to blog tonight. I have an important meeting coming up and have tried to devote my time tonight to preparation. However, I am watching Jimmy Kimmel Live and Donald Trump is on and continued his childish assault on one of my favorite people, Rosie O'Donnell. It's one thing to say you disagree with a person's opinion, it is quite another to call this person, "disgusting," "fat slob," "a failure," need I go on?

I have liked Donald Trump since the first season of his now failing show (failing, in my opinion), The Apprentice." I liked him even more when he was interviewed on Imus In the Morning and said he didn't agree with the war in Iraq. However, I don't like Donald anymore.

I don't like people, especially powerful men, who verbally assault women who have done so much philanthropy, women who have devoted their lives to their family, and proved this by turning down a $50 million dollar contract, women who are kind and help millions of people. I like Rosie. I don't just like her because she is freaking hilarious. I like her because she is a good person. I like her because she is a living example of what human beings should strive for. This woman has done much for humanity through her example and money.

She suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression and she is on an anti-depressant. I mention this because that is information she has shared and because she was brave enough and strong enough to share it and because of this, many women and men have gained strength to start a medication, to seek help, to admit it is okay to have depression and PTSD, to know that even though you have a diagnosis or diagnoses, you can survive and you are okay.

I believe Donald's assault has revealed his true character and I believe it reveals he has significant issues, perhaps issues with strong and independent women, perhaps issues with men and women, I don't quite know, but I believe he needs help and I hope he gets it.

"American negroes must come to the point where they can say to their white brothers, paraphrasing the words of Gandhi: 'We will match your capacity to inflict suffering with our capacity to enduring suffering. We will meet your physical force with soul force. We will not hate you, but we cannot in all good conscience obey your unjust laws. Do to us what you will and we will still love you. Bomb our homes and threaten our children; send your hooded perpetrators of violence into our communities and drag us out on some wayside road, beating us and leaving us half dead, and we will still love you. But we will soon wear you down by our capacity to suffer. And in winning our freedom we will so appeal to your heart and conscience that we will win you in the process.'"

Last night I attended the Pocatello branch of the NAACP's Martin Luther King Jr. Dinner. There was good food, great company, excellent speakers, singing, and poetry. It is not often you attend a formal dinner and attendees are not only welcome to yell out, "amens," and "yeahs", it's encouraged. It was awesome!

These are the lyrics to my new favorite song, Today's the day, by Aimee Mann:

“A large share of the ingenuity of the world is taxed to invent weapons of war. What a set of fools! I wonder if they think that they will never die,unless they kill one another. Is there any danger of their living here forever? Not a bit of it. Let the people alone, and they will die of themselves, without killing them. But much of the skill, ingenuity, and ability of the Christian nations are now devoted to manufacturing instruments of death. May we be saved from the effects of them! As I often tell you, if we are faithful, the Lord will fight our battles much better than we can ourselves. We should be apt to get nervous in fighting battles, and sometimes get into corners were we might almost have to take a little gun powder to encourage us – to nerve up our energy– or have to burn some under our noses to become a little used to it. When the Lord fights the battles of the Saints, he does it so effectually that nobody gets nervous but the enemy….When those who profess to be Saints contend against the enemies of God through passion of self will, it is then man against man, evil against evil, the powers of darkness against the powers of darkness…How easy it is for the Almighty to direct the steps of our enemies, until they fall off the precipice and be dashed in pieces, without the efforts of his servants."
(President BRIGHAM YOUNG, made in the Bowery, February 10, 1861.)

"Of one thing I am sure; God never institutes war; God is not the
author of confusion or of war; they are the results of the acts of
the children of men. Confusion and war necessarily come as the
results of the foolish acts and policy of men; but they do not
come because God desires they should come."
Brigham Young (Disc. 13:149)

"Our traditions have been such that we are not apt to look upon
war between two nations as murder; but suppose that one family
should rise up against another and begin to slay them, would they
not be taken up and tried for murder? Then why not nations that
rise up and slay each other in a scientific way be equally guilty
of murder? Does it justify the slaying of men, women, and
children that otherwise would have remained at home in peace,
because a great army is doing the work? No: the guilty will be
damned for it." Brigham Young (Disc. 7:137)

"To take possession by conquest or the shedding of blood is
entirely foreign to our feelings." Joseph Smith (HC 2:122)

"... we here express to you ... our decided disapprobation to
the idea of shedding blood, if any other course can be followed
to avoid it; in which case, and which alone, we have urged upon
our friends to desist, only in extreme cases of self defense;
and in this case not to give the offense or provoke their fellow
men to acts of violence." JS (HC 2:459-60)

"Peace will come and be maintained only through the triumph of
the principles of peace, and by the consequent subjection of the
enemies of peace, which are hatred, envy, ill-gotten gain, the
exercise of unrighteous dominion of men. Yielding to these evils
brings ... war among nations, with resultant misery and death."
D. McKay (IE 47:657-58, 708)

"... contention, strife, and hatred are manifest between ...
advocates of nazism, fascism, communism, and capitalism. No
matter how excellent any of these may seem in the minds of
their advocates, none will ameliorate the ills of mankind unless
its operation in government be impregnated with the basic
principles promulgated by the Savior of men...

"Activated by that Spirit, leaders will think more of men than
of the success of a system. Kindness, mercy, and justice will
be substituted for hatred, suspicion, and greed. There is no
road to universal peace which does not lead into the hearts
of humanity." D. McKay (IE 47:657-58, 708)

"With the Spirit of Christ in their hearts, no nation will
arrogate to itself superiority over others but give to each
nation, however small, however seemingly backward, the right
to self-determination." McKay (IE 47:657-58, 708)

"War is basically selfish. Its roots feed in the soil of envy,
hatred, desire for domination. ... They who cultivate and
propagate it spread death and destruction and are enemies of
the human race. War originates in the hearts of men who seek
to despoil, to conquer, or to destroy other individuals or
groups of individuals. Self-exaltation is a motivating factor;
force, the means of attainment...

War impels you to hate your enemies.

The Prince of Peace says, Love your enemies.

War says, curse them that curse you.

The Prince of Peace says, pray for them that curse you.

War says, injure and kill them that hate you.

The risen Lord says, do good to them that hate you.

"We see that war is incompatible with Christ's teachings. The
gospel of Jesus Christ is the gospel of peace. War is its
antithesis and produces hate. It is vain to attempt to
reconcile war with true Christianity.

"Notwithstanding all this, I still say that there are
conditions when entrance into war is justifiable, and when
a Christian nation may, without violation of principles,
take up arms against an opposing force.

"Such a condition, however, is not a real or a fancied insult
given by one nation to another...Neither is there justifiable
cause found in a desire or even a need for territorial
expansion...Nor is war justified in an attempt to enforce a
new order of government, or even to impel others to a particular
form of worship, however better the government or eternally
true the principles of the enforced religion may be.

"There are, however, two conditions which may justify a truly
Christian man to enter -- mind you, I say enter, not begin --
a war: (1) an attempt to dominate and to deprive another of his
free agency, and (2) loyalty to his country. Possibly there is a
third, viz., defense of a weak nation that is being unjustly
crushed by a strong, ruthless one." McKay (CR April 1942)

I am sure some readers of this blog are interested in reading what I feel about GWB's speech to the nation tonight. Sorry to disappoint you all, but I didn't watch it. I was in meetings all night and didn't get home until 10:30pm, and...

I try to avoid watching and/or hearing GWB speak. For one, it is painful-in so many ways. Secondly, it angers me too much. Thirdly, it is incredibly frustrating for me. I haven't watched GWB's State of the Union address since 2003. Since that time we have started a war I have been against since 2002. If I can't watch his State of the Union, there is absolutely no way I can watch a speech about the war in Iraq.

I would venture to say that many political junkies have an issue they care about more than every other. My issue is war. I am a peacenik, and a proud one. Some of the greatest moments in my life have occurred while I marched with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of protestors in opposition to the war in Iraq. I wish everyone could experience the feelings I have when I march-I don't think there are words to express those feelings. I am very glad I have videos and pictures to look back and remember that though my opposition placed me in the minority, I was in good company. And I would also like to say that while I respect others who are opposed to this war, I truly respect those who take their opposition to the streets.

I am not like most Americans. My opposition to the war didn't occur in 2006, or 2005, or 2004, or 2003, it was 2002, before it started. I remember being called a "traitor," "Saddam lover," "terrorist sympathizer," because I protested against the war.

Call me naive, call me an idealist, call me stupid, and call me a peacenik, but I wear my peacenik title with pride and there isn't anything wrong with being an idealist, there are certainly things I am stupid about, and I am sure I am naive about many topics. But don't call me wrong, because I'm right. This war was wrong and stupid and naive. Somehow saying, "I told you so," just isn't enough.

I'm gonna end here because I get really passionate about this and I don't want to write things I might regret in the morning.

I started classes on Monday. I am pretty stoked about my schedule. This might end up as one of my most favorite semesters because I am taking some awesome classes from some kick ass professors.

I am taking Speech 554: Management Communication
Political Science 613: Seminar: American Political Behavior
And then I am doing an Independent Study with a professor who is teaching the Spirit of the 60's class and since I consider myself a "neo hippy", I thought it would be fitting to take this class. So I will take the class and the professor will design the requirements for me since it is only offered as an undergraduate level course and I need graduate level credits...make sense?

College Dems will meet tomorrow to begin our semester and I anticipate some exciting things happening. At our end of the semester pizza party we decided to spend each month focused on a population we would like to give service to. For instance, we came up with low-income/poor, elderly, animals, veterans, etc...
We will also be discussing t-shirts/sweatshirts, and the Frank Church Banquet that is coming up quickly! Last semester I spoke with the editor at The Bengal and we agreed to debate the College Republicans through weekly articles in the paper. Last I heard, the College Republicans hadn't agreed to debate us, but we hope they do so students can learn more about each party.

I will definately blog some more as there are many exciting things happening in these first 100 hours!

According to a Salt Lake Tribune poll done last week, Utahn's support of the war in Iraq has shrunk to 41%.

According to a poll done in August, Utahn's support of Bush was at 54%. That is a quite a drop in a period of less than 5 months.

I would venture to say that aside from the Salt Lake City area, most of Utah have been big supporters of Bush and his war. I have attended two anti-war protests in Salt Lake City and both of them drew impressive numbers. I would also like to add that aside from those who actually attended the protest, there were hundreds of cars that drove by and honked their horns in support of the protest.

Seeing as how the approval numbers for the war are dropping nationally, yet drop slower in Utah and Idaho, is there something unique to these two states that slow the disapproval of the war? Is it the Mormon population? Is it just that these two states are very Republican and Republican enough to stand by and continue to support a war that is not only unpopular but unjustified, at least in my opinion? Is it a combination of the two?

"I don't know the answer."

The answer could have been worse. He could have stated he is opposed to legalizing gay marriage, which I would have a huge problem with. He could have totally evaded the question, which he didn't. But as angry as I want to get with his answer, politicians are putting themselves in a place where supporting gay marriage can be a career killer. However, they aren't alone in placing themselves there...

The last public opinion poll I looked at shows a majority of Americans don't support legalizing gay marriage. I anticipate that this number will drop as time goes on, but since Americans still aren't ready for gay marriage to be legal, many politicians feel they are unable to publicly state their support, even if privately they feel discrimination shouldn't be legal.

How angry should liberal Democrats be when Democratic politicians are afraid and/or unwilling to fight for equal rights for ALL citizens, which would include legalizing gay marriage? Couldn't Edwards have even given the ultimate copout answer of stating his support for civil unions but prefacing that with his opposition to gay marriage?

for women and America. "The honorable Nancy Pelosi of the state of California is to be elected Speaker of the House for the 110th Congress, having received a majority of the votes cast."



"I accept this gavel in the spirit of partnership, not partisanship, and look forward to working with you on behalf of the American people," Pelosi said. "In this House, we may belong to different parties, but we serve one country."

HOORAY!

One of my best friends is moving away and tonight I said goodbye to her. I have known her since January of 2002. It was nice to see her but sad to see her go. Guess I better plan a trip to Dallas to visit her...I haven't been to Dallas since July of 2002 when I lived there for 2 weeks to train for Southwest Airlines. I also need to plan a trip to Missouri to visit my two best friends there...yeah, I probably overuse the "best friends" title, but in my head there is a hierarchy of best friends and each of them are my best friend in different ways.

I got into a huge fight last night with one of my best friends. The fight continued today where harsh words were exchanged. Tonight as I was at the store, I started beating myself up for how I am sometimes such an idiot and so narrow minded. I, all too often, view myself as the victim and often times fail to recognize that my actions, in fact, are victimizing someone else. I absolutely hate when people hurt my friends yet my own actions can be very hurtful. My friends are such an integral part of my life and I need them in my life, all of them, and there are a few of them I couldn't live without.

However, after I beat myself up for a bit, I realized that while it is important to always improve yourself and strive to be a better person, I think I deserve some credit for who I am as a person. As a dear friend pointed out to me, I surivived "the impossible." I have my quirks, I have my imperfections, but I am alive and I am, for the most part, a good person. I know it is difficult to be friends with me, but I can only hope any benefits my friends get from being my friend will outweigh the negatives and all the crap I throw at them...

So, my friend who is upset with me tonight, I love you and I need you in my life. Your friendship means more to me than almost everything else in my life. I am not perfect and there will be times when I will hurt you, but I promise I will try to be a better friend and let you be who you are and accept you for who you are.

I will end with one of my favorite quotes:

Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.

Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again.
It makes the thought of being a basher repulsive.

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is
accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.

~Marvin J. Ashton

I bought Switchfoot's new album, Oh! Gravity., yesterday and have listened to it all day. First of all, I really like Switchfoot. There are a handful of their songs that I absolutely adore, but they still have many songs I don't care for. So with apprehension, I put the CD into my cd player in my car and started listening. Many of the songs are a little harder than I care for, but I think some of them will grow on me. When I arrived at track 9, I fell in love with the song, Yesterdays.

Though I attend a rival university, so to speak, I have always liked and respected Boise State University. Not necessarily for their sports programs, but I think it is a nice university in an awesome city.

Someone whom I can't name, nor specify who they are, has been asking me to move to Boise when I graduate in May. I have seriously considered it because I love Boise. In fact, tonight I did a job search online just to see what is out there and was surprised to see that Boise had about 170 more jobs listed than Salt Lake City, another city I would like to move to. This doesn't mean much by itself, but I think it is a piece of evidence that shows the impressive growth of Boise.

While I was in Seattle, I was visiting with my dad who told me him and my step-mom have looked at moving to Boise eventually...I was surprised to say the least, but excited to know I might not always be so far away from at least one set of my parents.

Anyways, back to Boise State-CONGRATS! I don't claim that I am from Idaho, I am quite different than most Idahoans, and I value the diversity I was raised around in the Seattle area. However, tonight I am extra proud to live in Idaho, but you still won't get me to claim Idaho. I am a proud Washingtonian, through and through.

When Idaho ceases to have a enormous population of white supremacists, when the voters in Idaho stop electing idiots like Tom Luna, Ken Andrus, Butch Otter, etc...then you will see me claiming Idaho, but always mentioning my birthplace of Seattle.